8 Life Lessons from 2021
I blew into the end of the year emotionally exhausted. Whether it was work (good, but busy), home (same), or world (mixed bag), I wandered into the arbitrary inflection point of the New Year feeling like I couldn’t actually look forward to 2022 until I’d spent some time thinking about 2021. I didn’t have the bandwidth to do so until I’d taken some time to truly rest — disengaging from normal pursuits, sleeping in, reading, getting some of the to-dos off my list, and getting things done around the house.
As a part of my annual reflection, I don’t just think about what happened; I try to focus instead on what I learned. The experiences of a year, good or bad, are only wasted if I didn’t learn something from them. And so here is my list of the things I learned from this tumultuous year.
#1 Hold expectations for the future very lightly
This was the Year of the Vaccine, and I, like many others, celebrated as we got our shot series for COVID-19. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel! But then there was Delta, and Omicron, and all of the other left turns that we didn’t expect with our ongoing public health situation here in the United States.
As a planner, this uncertainty was frustrating. But I also realized that the frustration likely came from my own expectations of being able to predict the future. In a season like this one, thriving can’t depend on falsely manufacturing certainty where there is none. Instead, I can choose to be flexible and to pivot to something potentially better if the current thing doesn’t work out.
#2 Make space for serendipity
This year demonstrated to me that deviating from the original plan doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. A few times this year, I’ve specifically waited after a metaphorical door closed, only to find that within a week, an unexpected opportunity popped up for something different and equally — if not more — amazing.
One such thing happened this fall; as a result, I found myself in conversation with some of the most fascinating people who were incredibly different than I. What they shared during our conversations together gave me an up-close-and-personal view of recent history and personal perspectives that challenged my own understanding of the world.
I learned that maintaining margin in my life allowed me to say “yes” to things that I had previously had to decline due to bandwidth. These serendipitous opportunities were things that enriched my life in ways that I couldn’t have expected. I hope to continue to maintain capacity to say “yes” to things that I wouldn’t have previously.
#3 Say yes to things that scare you
In October, I had an opportunity to transition to a different set of responsibilities within my organization. My gut instinct was to say no, and after a bit of reflection, I realized that there were things about the role that just didn’t fit my preconceived idea of what success looked like. It was outside of my comfort zone. It was intimidating. And it was very, very unlike what I’d been doing before.
Ultimately, I ended up saying “yes” to something that I didn’t fully understand and that I felt was personally risky, but it’s already paying off dividends in personal and professional growth.
#4 Take the time to evaluate changes
During this same pivotal moment, my manager interrupted my panicked litany of excuses and firmly advised me to take the weekend to think over the decision. This ended up being incredibly important for me to do; I was able to stop, check with my personal board of directors, breathe, process, reflect, and ultimately identify what was bothering me about the change. By the end of the weekend, I had come to a surprising peace with the decision, and was able to give an enthusiastic “yes” on Monday.
I didn’t realize how much I needed the time to not make this decision while actively in fight-or-flight, but instead to give myself the time to just sit with myself and evaluate the change. The entire experience taught me the importance of making the time to truly evaluate major decisions.
#5 Pour into others as you have been poured into
The older I get, the more I recognize the level of investment that went into me as a human being. I continue to receive mentorship and encouragement from those around me as I progress in my career, and I recognize the privilege that it is to receive both opportunity and feedback.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned the joy that comes with investing in others for their success. There’s something particularly exciting about seeing someone truly come into their own that really hits me in the gut, and I’ve had some incredible opportunities to see some of the people I’ve invested in truly take flight this year with some simple words of encouragement and challenge.
#6 Be present for the precious moments
With my social engagements highly curtailed this year with the ebb and flow of COVID-19, I doubled down on time in a closed social bubble with my immediate family. If you’ve ever had very small children in your life, you know that every moment requires incredible focus; as a result, every moment is an opportunity for laughter (and tears).
Being present, however, is a practice that maps to other parts of life as well. I chose to be present with other adults in my life, whether it was family, friends, or coworkers. And as a result, I was able to share some pretty incredible times that I’ll treasure for a lifetime. Sometimes, all it takes it setting aside the devices for some focus time in order to make sure that we’re in tune with the world around us.
#7 Find joy in the little things
This was a year without big things — big trips, big purchases (although a friend got me an awesome birthday gift), or big life changes. However, it wasn’t without joy; it was instead filled with satisfaction with the little things in life. A good cup of tea. A cat pressed against me, purring. A toilet that flushes. A good book. A great workout. A tasty meal. An awesome song. An encouraging conversation. A sunset over the water at a nearby park. These things all rolled together to bring me an incredible satisfaction with life itself, despite the ongoing disruption to our sense of normalcy.
#8 Live a have and not have-not life
Storytelling and positioning is a big part of my professional life, and it’s just as important in my personal life. How I frame my own situation can lead to either dissatisfaction or a sense of abundance, and it really has become a choice. I can either focus on what I don’t have or what I do have.
This was recently tested as the central heating went out in my house, just before a cold snap. The part was on back order during the holidays, and it was getting really cold in the house. However, I had a tiny little space heater, some microwaveable heating pads, and live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where this was an inconvenience and not fatal. By focusing on what I did have, I’ve been able to sail through this situation by seeing it for what it is — a temporary hitch in a life of plenty.
On paper, 2021 looked like a static year for me, where very little changed and nothing shifted. But on closer inspection, it was a year of noticing, where things that had previously just passed by unseen were instead brought to the forefront. And under the surface, between the lines of what changed or didn’t, was another year walked on this earth, surrounded by family, friends, colleagues, and strangers, doing this magnificent thing called Life. From grief to glory, despair to delight, we made it through together.
With love, here’s to a great 2022.
Forking forest path photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash
Water in teapot photo by Ralph Mayhew on Unsplash
Elaine is a senior product manager at Adobe. You can find her on Twitter at @elainecchao. All statements in this essay are her own and do not reflect the opinions of her employer.
